3.24 Susie as my orgnizer

(1)dialogue
[20:00] Ding Atolia: ok, let's move to J's
[20:00] Ruby Lysios: ok
[20:00] Ding Atolia: give us the blog ad
[20:00] Jessie Passerine: http://jessieelsewhere.blogspot.com/
[20:00] Ruby Lysios: this time i'll be reader
[20:00] Ding Atolia: i will be editor?
[20:00] Ding Atolia: yes
[20:01] Susie223 Chun: so i'm the og
[20:01] Lucky Board: This prize wasn't claimed... so let's try a new magic letter.
[20:01] Lucky Board: Next Prize: breeding coop
[20:01] Lucky Board: Looking for a winner whose name begins with.... R.
[20:01] Ruby Lysios: what a short news
[20:01] Ding Atolia: haha
[20:01] Ding Atolia: concise
[20:01] Ding Atolia: does anyone knows...
[20:01] Ruby Lysios: but ithe topic is clear
[20:02] Ding Atolia: that's a big mistake
[20:02] Ruby Lysios: ha
[20:02] Ruby Lysios: i also find out that
[20:02] Jessie Passerine: haha..I don't know what else word to write.. the story itself is short
[20:02] Jessie Passerine: what mistake?
[20:02] Ding Atolia: does anyone know
[20:03] Ruby Lysios: but after reading the news, i got no idea....
[20:03] Jessie Passerine: a
[20:03] Ruby Lysios: what do you want to convey
[20:03] Ruby Lysios: the worried parent?
[20:04] Jessie Passerine: yes
[20:04] Ding Atolia: fail to do something: fail to reach his son
[20:04] Ruby Lysios: i'm also curious about the missing child
[20:04] Jessie Passerine: too worried
[20:04] Ruby Lysios: ha
[20:04] Ruby Lysios: a little bit too worried
[20:04] Ding Atolia: tried dailing should be try to dail
[20:05] Jessie Passerine: ok
[20:05] Ding Atolia: or you can just say tried to call his som
[20:05] Ding Atolia: son
[20:05] Ding Atolia: dail one phone is not commonly used
[20:06] Ruby Lysios: in the discussion, his son "joined" before was asked the question?
[20:06] Susie223 Chun: was the quik reponse
[20:06] Ding Atolia: a few spell mistakes
[20:06] Susie223 Chun: quick
[20:06] Jessie Passerine: discussion group his son jioned before
[20:07] Ruby Lysios: before he was asked the question
[20:07] Ruby Lysios: jion??
[20:07] Jessie Passerine: haha.. join..
[20:07] Susie223 Chun shouts: after being told by a friend that his father was searching him online.
[20:08] Susie223 Chun: searching for
[20:08] Ding Atolia: i think the story is too simple
[20:08] Jessie Passerine: why are you shouting..
[20:08] Ding Atolia: maybe as an exchange student yourself
[20:09] Ding Atolia: you can talk more about your self-feeling when you experienced the earthquake
[20:09] Ruby Lysios: maybe i would like to know more details
[20:09] Ding Atolia: and whether your parents worry a lot
[20:09] Ruby Lysios: the missing child's feeling
[20:10] Susie223 Chun: I don't know why is the character shouting
[20:10] Ding Atolia: then go further to talk more on space and relationship: though we are far away from home, our parents are always concerned about us
[20:10] Susie223 Chun: maybe I pressed something
[20:10] Jessie Passerine: ding ,in news the writer does not talk about him or herself.
[20:10] Ruby Lysios: haha...
[20:10] Ruby Lysios: dinf is missing home
[20:11] Ruby Lysios: ding
[20:11] Ding Atolia: ok, not herself, but as a group of exchange student
[20:11] Susie223 Chun: I agreed with J
[20:11] Ding Atolia: haha
[20:11] Lucky Board: This prize wasn't claimed... so let's try a new magic letter.
[20:11] Lucky Board: Next Prize: breeding coop
[20:11] Lucky Board: Looking for a winner whose name begins with.... F.
[20:12] Jessie Passerine: maybe i'll add a few comments from other people
[20:12] Ruby Lysios: “No one got hurt here.”was the quik reponse quick response
[20:13] Ruby Lysios: that's would be better
[20:13] Ruby Lysios: add some coments
[20:13] Ruby Lysios: comments
[20:13] Susie223 Chun: I have figured out that just now,haha
[20:13] Jessie Passerine: haha..
[20:13] Jessie Passerine: my spellings..
[20:13] Ding Atolia: haha
[20:13] Ruby Lysios: ha
[20:14] Susie223 Chun: so ,the story should be more detalied>?
[20:14] Susie223 Chun: detailed?
[20:14] Ruby Lysios: do you parents also use qq??
[20:14] Ruby Lysios: that's cool
[20:14] Susie223 Chun: yes
[20:14] Ding Atolia: haha
[20:14] Jessie Passerine: yes they both do
[20:14] Susie223 Chun: they also use facebook
[20:14] Jessie Passerine: cool!
[20:14] Susie223 Chun: and douban
[20:14] Ruby Lysios: really!!!
[20:15] Susie223 Chun: to see what am I doing everyday
[20:15] Ruby Lysios: ok
[20:15] Susie223 Chun: and when do I go to bed everyday
[20:15] Susie223 Chun: in case I sleep too late,haha
[20:15] Jessie Passerine: what about your parents ruby?
[20:16] Ruby Lysios: they can't use computer....
[20:16] Ruby Lysios: my dad's job has no relation to computers
[20:17] Ruby Lysios: and he doesn't want to learn
[20:17] Ruby Lysios: he just watches tv
[20:17] Ding Atolia: o, hehe
[20:17] Ding Atolia: i like watch tv
[20:17] Ding Atolia: too
[20:17] Susie223 Chun: well,that's normal
[20:17] Susie223 Chun: my parents are unnormal XD
[20:18] Jessie Passerine: s, do you feel under great pressure because of theri supervision?
[20:18] Jessie Passerine: their
[20:19] Ruby Lysios: hi, ta
[20:19] JTA Karsin: hey
[20:19] Susie223 Chun: sometimes a little bit
[20:19] Susie223 Chun: hi~
[20:20] Jessie Passerine: hey~
[20:20] Ding Atolia: hi
[20:20] JTA Karsin: something wrong?
[20:20] Susie223 Chun: we have finished,I think
[20:20] Ruby Lysios: no~
[20:20] Ruby Lysios: jes
[20:20] JTA Karsin: oh ok haha
[20:20] JTA Karsin: Hey!
[20:20] Susie223 Chun: what else are we supposed todo?
[20:20] Ruby Lysios: ask TA
[20:20] Jessie Passerine: what should we do now?
[20:21] JTA Karsin: you finished your discussion?
[20:21] Susie223 Chun: yes

(2)a summary of the reader’s and the editor's SUGGESTED REVISIONS
There are some grammar mistakes within this article. The story is short,clear, and some kind of interesting,but not specific enough. More comments from other people are requested. The reader also wants to know more details.

(3) a brief comment on the entire article with respect to organization, length, logic, and style.
The story is logical.However,it seems a little bit short.We still need more clear explanation and discription in the story.The story is objective overall

Internet: a Rising Channel of Supervising for Parents

Still hiding your dear diary book from your parents? Worry about your little blog journals first. In this era of electronic communication, more and more parents are getting on line to check what their kids are thinking and writing about. “My mom has a facebook account, and she added me as a friend. Now, she knows everything about me even I’m away from home.”said Muse, a freshman of NCU English Department.
“Not only facebook, she also has my blog account, my msn account and my douban id.It seems that she is everwhere, and whater I did, she will know it.”said the freshman.Not only Muse,but also Angela has the same expience. “Both my parents are proficient in the Internet.Any move I make shall never escape from their eyes.” When asked about how did they feel about being supervised in this way, some claimed they feelt happy because they knew that they were being cared about,but some thought the otherwise.
“I sometimes feel a little bit pressure.You know, it sounds like an authoritarian system.It’s impossible to feel free when writing whatever being watched.”claimed Sunny.
But what do parents say about this?Let’s take a look.
“I’m glad that blogs are created.I was always worrying about what kind of things my kid shall suffer from after going to university,away from home.Seeing my son posting stories online at least made me sure whether he is happy or in trouble.And I’m pleased he is willing to share them with me as well as other people.”said one father.
In another case, Jenny, whose parents have all her blogs ,things are a little different.“I apprieciate their concern and I’m willing to share some of my stories with my parents.However, as for those things I don’t want them to know, I will write them in English.My parents know nothing about English but few words like hello and byebye.”laughed the girl.
(REVISED EDITION)

Parent in Mailand searching for “Missing” child in Taiwan Online after earthquake

“DOES anyone knows whether anybody in Chenggong University got hurt in the earthquake?”was the question asked by a parent of an exchange student from the mailand.4 hours after the disaster happened,on March 4^th, the parent failed reaching his son had to turn to the Internet for help.

This searching was seen on the a Internet communication software,QQ.As soon as the parent got the news that earthquake took place in Taiwan,he tried dailing his son’s cellphone,which was then shut down.The worried father ,knowing no other means to contact his son but his QQ account ,turned on the computer and logged in.In a discussion group his son jioned before was asked the question.

“No one got hurt here.”was the quik reponse from students in Chenggong University.Within ten minutes, Steve, the “missing” child turned on his phone ,which ran out of battery earlier, and gave his father a call saying he was safe, after being told by a friend that his father was searching him online.